The Humanities Dept. is really just one big nudist colony; small mercy being that they’re a sedentary breed, generally found/not found tucked away in a corner behind a big pile of books and a bigger pair of glasses. I usually wear clothes, but the other day, for the purpose … Continue reading I’m pretty sure that emperor’s naked
No hard feelings from this end; I just wish that there was an outright display of aggression rather than the constant subliminal undermining in her “friendly” letters. At the moment, this hostility manifests itself in well-wishing letters and a selection of mind-bending drawings, clearly intended to … Continue reading My sponsor child hates me
I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but it’s too late now. Another thing that was wrong with the Corolla was that the petrol gauge was unreliable; it would say that I could make it to Sydney when I hardly had enough to leave the driveway. Since … Continue reading That gear got biblical
So the brother of a friend of mine – ok, some guy I know – enjoys walking past girls wearing those sheer black stockings posing as pants and mumbling “not pants” as he passes them. While his work in the field is commendable, given the time … Continue reading Maybe they were on to something.
I’ve counted so many sheep in vain over the last few years that I can’t drive by a paddock without yelling out stuff like ‘Rammstein is my least favourite band’ or ‘why don’t you count me’ or ‘I’ll be having one of you in a kebab tomorrow, and I’ll … Continue reading Lucky doer
I bought a 2009 Holden Astra last Friday. It’s by far the most reckless thing I’ve done this year apart from hitting a Volvo in mum’s car a few weeks ago. She told me she was just glad that I was alive, but her eyes went kind … Continue reading untitled – it’s so postmodern
For those of you who came in late – old jungle saying – I’m going to be a student again. I left a trail of destruction at the Kmart back to school sale – totally owned a posse of eight year olds to get to those pens with four colours … Continue reading Saved by the bell
There are a few instruments lying around this joint that I’ve never used. One’s a guitar I bought two years ago; positive Tommy Emmanuel would soon be eating my dust. I know three chords max, so he’s safe (for now). I had to drive all the way to Alexander Heights to get … Continue reading If you’re feeling impulsive, remember that the world could always use an extra tambourinist
Just cos. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! I’ve split the readers (two of them, anyway) straight down the middle, right where I want them. Contentious topic equals more traffic – more traffic equals greater self esteem. Take that Dr Phil. I don’t need your show every weekday at 12pm. (FYI I … Continue reading Don’t trip over my segue
At the risk of alienating 2.5 of my 5 readers, I thought it was time someone stood up for the humble cat. Check out this list: They don’t smell They don’t bark They wash themselves They’re not needy. It’s creepy enough when people are clingy, let alone animals … Continue reading why cats are cooler than dogs
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